Unrequited
by greensorceress
Summary: Ori is blinded by his love for Fili. He can't see that Fili is in love with someone else and decides it's time to confess his love. Will Fili let him down easy? Rated M for Chapter 4. This story was inspired by the fanart of kaciart on Tumblr
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for reading! Thank you to my awesome beta, Ella-Whispers-What!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.**

**Rated M for future chapters**

**Unrequited**

Chapter 1 The Fall

Ori can remember the exact moment he realized he was in love with Fili, heir of Durin. It was a warm day in early autumn. The sun was shining brightly and it seemed as though every resident of the Blue Mountains was out soaking up the warmth. Ori had been inside all morning, hard at work at learning the characters of the elven alphabet. He decided he couldn't possibly look at the foreign letters for another moment and left to take a break outside. Ori walked to an open area not far from the forge, where most of his friends and cousins spent their spare time, training, wrestling, smoking, making mischief.

He had taken a seat under a large oak, next to Gloin's young son Gimli, who was bouncing up and down excitedly while watching two dwarves sparring. It was Fili and Kili, matching each other hit for hit and block for block. They had removed their tunics and battled each other bare chested. Ori felt like he was seeing Fili for the first time.

His broad shoulders and barrel chest rippled with muscle, his thick arms delivering one crushing blow after another. His hair flew through the air like a lion's mane as he lunged at his brother, shimmering like gold. But his eyes, what was it in his eyes? Despite the scowl on his face, Fili's sapphire eyes were sparkling with mirth and mischief. That was when Ori realized, it was Fili's countenance, his lightheartedness. The way he was always laughing, radiating joy and pleasure. He was fierce, yet kind. Jovial, but also sincere. Ori knew at that moment he was in love, desperately so.

The years passed and Ori's love did not falter. He spent as much time with the brothers of Durin as he could. He would tag along on whenever they went to the pub, or casually stop by the forge on his way home, even though the forge was out of his way. Ori eventually began regularly looking out the window during his studies in hopes of spotting Fili in the training yard. Wherever the blond prince was, that's where Ori wanted to be.

It's no surprise that when the quest to reclaim Erebor came about, Ori jumped at the chance to go. Of course, his ability to read and write elvish would come in handy, to chronicle the historic journey, but Ori had only one reason to leave his home: Fili.

Through all the years he's been in love with Fili, he'd never so much as hinted his feelings for the prince to anyone. Let alone to the actual object of his love. The blond dwarf was seldom alone; he and his younger brother Kili were practically attached at the hip. And even if Ori had managed to get Fili by himself to confess his feelings, what would he have said? Fili was confident and strong, loud and boisterous, everything that Ori wasn't. Ori was painfully shy and very awkward. He hardly opened his mouth to speak unless he'd been drinking, and even then he didn't say very much. The funny thing was that Ori was actually considered very handsome by dwarf standards. Despite his young age he had an enviable beard and his large nose caught many a dwarf-woman's eye. But his looks did little for his lack of self-confidence. He'd remained shy and bumbling.

Ori decided the quest would be his chance to not only prove he was worthy of Fili, but to confess his love once and for all. It filled him with an excitement he hadn't experienced since he was a dwarfling. And so, with new motivation and hope, Ori prepared for the quest he knew would change his life forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 The Gift

The day soon came to depart the Blue Mountains and begin the quest to reclaim Erebor. Ori was disappointed to learn that not all the dwarves were travelling together. The two nephews of the King had left a day earlier to travel part of the way with their uncle and would not meet the others again until they were in Hobbiton.

The young dwarf tried to hide his disappointment as he set out with his two older brothers but his displeasure wasn't missed by Dori's sharp eyes.

"Ori, what's the matter with you, lad?" The grey haired dwarf peered at his younger brother warily.

"He's homesick by the look of it," offered Nori as he took out his pipe.

"Homesick, already? We're barely out of the Blue Mountains, lad! You'd better get used to being far from home, this quest is going to be a long one," Dori clapped him on the back a little hard for Ori's liking. He wasn't nearly as strong and hearty as his brothers, a fact they often forgot while Ori felt constantly reminded.

"I'm not homesick, brother, just…thoughtful," he mumbled as he shifted in the saddle. It was true that this was the first time he had left his home, but that thought had barely crossed Ori's mind. He had been focused solely on the golden beauty that had left the day before.

Lately Ori's thoughts were of nothing but Fili. There was hardly a moment when he wasn't picturing the blonde prince, going over in his head the few words Fili spoke to him, or picturing Fili shirtless in the sparring yard. At night, as he tried to fall asleep, Ori would imagine Fili coming to him, taking Ori in his arms. He envisaged their first kiss, soft and sweet, their first coupling, passionate and romantic. The images would play over and over in the dwarf's mind until he would have to get up out of his bedroll and walk away from the campsite to relieve his aching arousal. He would return feeling sleepy but not quite sated, and would fall asleep with even more images of Fili in his head.

Halfway through the journey to Hobbiton, Ori still hadn't managed to think of a way to tell Fili how he felt. He thought the best time would be at the home of the burglar, before they set out on the road again. It was sure to be a relaxed atmosphere and hopefully with plenty of ale. But how to broach such a subject, with someone who made him more tongue-tied than normal? Ori stared down at his hands in frustration, and then, the idea came to him: make Fili a gift! Something to break the ice, give him an opportunity to share his feelings. Ori knew just what to make, a long warm scarf in the colors of Durin. The young dwarf was very practiced at knitting and sewing, a skill that was coveted considering the shortage of dwarf women. Ori was relieved he had brought his knitting needles and sewing kit with him, and in the next town they stopped at, he bought yarn dyed a deep royal blue.

Each night Ori would work on the scarf as he sat with his brothers by the campfire. The road to The Shire was long from the Blue Mountains, Ori was confident he would complete the gift in plenty of time. He was weaving a golden thread through the edges one evening when Dori sat down beside him.

"You've been working on that for days, brother. Who's it for?" Dori asked as he picked up the end of the scarf, examining it closely.

"No one, just keeping busy," Ori pulled the scarf out of his brother's hands and turned away slightly.

"That's a lovely blue, you've chosen," Nori smirked as he poked the fire. "What would you call that color? Durin Blue, perhaps?" Both brothers snickered as Ori scowled and turned further away.

"Oh come now, Ori, we're just having a bit of fun. Don't be so serious!" Dori ruffled his hair and chuckled. Ori gave up and put the scarf away.

_A couple more days and we'll meet the others again,_ he told himself as he climbed into his bedroll. _Maybe after I tell Fili how I feel he'll want to spend each evening together, just he and I. Dori and Nori won't have much to say then, will they? _Ori smiled to himself as he closed his eyes. That night he dreamt of sharing his bedroll with the golden prince.

/

The trio of dwarves arrived at the burglar's house two nights later, and Ori was excited to see that Fili and Kili were already there.

Try as he might, Ori had a difficult time getting Fili alone for most of the night. There were so many crammed into the hobbit's home it was difficult for anyone to get a moment alone! Ori had a little too much ale throughout the evening, trying to work up the courage to speak to his beloved. By the time Thorin arrived, Ori was rather tipsy, shouting down the table about where he'd like to stick his sword in Smaug.

The moment finally arose after Mr. Baggins had declined the offer. The dwarves had largely dispersed throughout the home, and Ori found Fili refilling two mugs of ale in the pantry. He began to tremble in anticipation as he approached the blond dwarf. Ori fingered the yarn nervously as he cleared his throat. Fili turned at the noise and smiled warmly.

"Oh, hey Ori, I thought you might be my brother, sneaking up on me. Care for another ale?" He held a mug out but Ori shook his head.

Finally finding his voice, Ori said softly "um…Fili…I made you…uh, here." He thrust the scarf toward the Fili, feeling heat rise in his face and hating himself for it. Fili took the scarf and turned it over in his hands, admiring the entwining blue and gold. He smiled politely but looked a little confused.

"Uh, thanks Ori, this is very…beautiful." To receive a gift like this, which clearly took time and skill was rare for Fili. And for some reason, this one made him nervous. Fili lifted his head and stared at Ori with those perfect blue eyes. "Are you sure this is for me? But why?"

"Because I…"Ori gulps, "Fili, I-I…"

"Hey Fee, whatcha got there?" Kili had come up behind Ori, gripping his shoulders as the dark haired prince looked around his head at his brother's gift.

"Ori made it for me," Fili replied, still looking a little uncertain.

"Did you make me one too, Ori?" Kili asked as he stepped past the smaller dwarf, accepting the mug of ale from his brother.

"Um, no Kili…sorry," Ori mumbled, dropping his head slightly. He'd had missed his chance. _Why is Kili _always _by his brother's side?_ He pondered sullenly.

"No matter," Kili mused after a long drink of ale. "Fili won't mind sharing it, will you, brother?" The brunette dwarf tugged at one of Fili's golden braids and his brother responded by nudging him with his shoulder, sharing a knowing smile Ori that didn't quite understand.

Ori wanted to speak up, to tell Kili that the scarf had been made for Fili alone. He wanted to ask Kili to leave, take Fili by the hand and empty his heart. But all he could manage was a weak smile as he turned to leave the pantry.

_Another time Ori, _he told himself as he made his way to the sitting room. _This will be a long quest and you'll have plenty of time to tell Fili how you feel. _Ori smiled to himself as he thought of what Fili would say in response to his declaration. He took a seat between his brothers and Dwalin as Thorin began the lament for Erebor, the traces of that hopeful smile still lingering on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 The Declaration

After leaving Bilbo's home in The Shire, the company of Thorin Oakenshield stayed off the main roads as they headed east. In fact, they stayed off all roads entirely. Gandalf, Bilbo, and the dwarves travelled through the wilderness, keeping to little known paths and trails to avoid detection as such a company would surely attract attention.

Ori saw very little of Fili the first couple days into the journey. The two heirs of Durin were often sent ahead to scout and the group travelled from morning until dusk, making chances of conversation few and far between. In the evenings around the campfire, Kili was almost always at his brother's side, and if not Kili, it was their uncle Thorin. Ori wanted to be totally alone with Fili when he told the prince how he felt about him, so be bided his time and kept a sharp eye out for the right moment.

It came about four days into the journey. Fili had drawn second watch after Ori, and all the others, including Kili, were asleep when Ori woke the blond dwarf for his shift. Fili sat up in his bedroll, stretching and scratching his beard sleepily. Ori thought he had never looked lovelier than at that moment and blushed, thinking how nice it would be to see Fili looking like this every morning.

"Just give me moment to fully wake up, would you Ori?" Fili yawned, "before you head to bed." He stood up and hopped in place to few times to get his blood flowing.

"Of course, Fili, I don't mind," Ori replied softly. He knew it was now or never and his heart began to pound in his chest. He quickly turned to the fire and poked at it aimlessly, trying to calm his nerves and work up his courage. Fili walked to the edge of camp to relieve himself, Ori stared at his back and then immediately felt guilty for invading Fili's privacy. He rolled his eyes at his own idiocy and kept his eyes on the fire until Fili came back.

The blond took a seat a few feet away from him, looking more alert than before. Taking a deep breath, Ori stood up and closed the distance between them, sitting down next to the dwarf he loved. Fili looked at him for a moment and when the shy dwarf didn't say anything asked kindly, "Ori, what is it? Is something wrong?"

Ori could feel the cold burn of adrenaline in his chest, his hands began to shake and his stomach fluttered. He gulped audibly and finally found his voice. "I love you, Fili. I've loved you for years. I think…I-I know you're my One. I love everything about you. I know you couldn't possibly love me, I'm so clumsy and stupid and not nearly good enough for you. But, if you could even think of loving me, Fili, I'd…I'd do anything for you. Truly."

Fili's reaction was a credit to both his kindness and his princely bearing. He did not laugh, or scoff, or show any other emotion besides mild shock. He took a few seconds to process the information that was thrust upon him and to carefully choose his reply. To Ori, those few seconds stretched on for ages as he waited for something, anything in the way of a reaction.

Finally Fili took a deep breath and smiled at him in a way that could only be described as sadly. "Ori, you're a wonderful dwarf and a good friend. I'm very honored and touched by how you feel, any dwarf would be. But you see, I've…found my One already…and I'm truly sorry, but it isn't you."

"Of course, I understand," he hardly heard the words as he said them. It was an automatic response, something quick to fill the silence before it swallowed him whole. He felt like all the air had been sucked out of him. His entire body was trembling. _Can Fili see me shaking?_ Fili was talking again, what was he saying? _Focus! Listen to him, you idiot!_

"…just hope this doesn't make things awkward. I really do value your friendship." Fili was saying now, looking at Ori expectantly. Waiting for a response.

_He wants me to say something, what was the question? Was there a question?_ Ori managed to shake his head and tried his best to look casual but he didn't succeed. "Awkward? Uh…no, certainly not. I see no reason why it would be…as long as you don't feel…um." He wasn't sure what else to say so he said nothing for a moment. Fili looked like he was about to say something else but Ori quickly stood up. "I'm going to turn in, Bombur's on watch after you. Um..ha-have a good night."

"Goodnight Ori,"Fili called softly behind him, "and…thank you." The way Fili spoke the thank you made it sound like a question, Ori wished the ground would open up and swallow him.

He made it to his bedroll between his brothers and climbed in quickly. There was a large lump in his throat and stinging in his eyes. He pulled his blanket up to his chin, squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. It wouldn't do to cry, not here, not now. He took in a deep breath and held it, letting it out slowly through his nose as he felt the lump in his throat subside. A fat tear leaked out from under each eyelid and rolled into his hair. Ori tried to steady his breathing and began reciting the elven alphabet in his head. _Alda, Ampa ,Anca ,Ando, Anto_ … Within a few moments, the feeling had passed and he was left with exhausted emotions and wounded pride. He turned to his side and stared blankly into the darkness.

Sometime in the small hours of the night, Ori closed his eyes and slept. He dreamt of Fili as he had looked tonight: stretching and yawning with tousled golden hair. In the dream, Fili turned to him in their bed, smiling softly in the early morning light, his blue eyes sparkling and his body sleep-warm. When Ori woke a few hours later, the skin of his face was stiff from dried tears and the sun didn't seem to be as bright as it had been the day before.

**I know this was a sad chapter! I'm so sorry! Promise lovin' in the next one! **


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 The Realization

The following day, Ori tried to stay as far away from everyone in the company as possible. He didn't feel like himself. At breakfast, he had no stomach for sausages, at lunch he hardly touched his bread and cheese. Ori rode at the end of the column, away from the prying eyes of his brothers. And he certainly wasn't ready to make eye contact with the blond prince.

In the late afternoon, the company came upon a narrow, slow moving river and decided to stop early, making camp beside the water. Dwalin crafted fishing poles from greenling switches and set out with Bilbo and Gandalf to catch bluegill for dinner. Fili and Kili stripped down to their underclothes and along with Bofur and Bombur, headed downstream to swim. Kili stopped by where Ori was sitting on his way to the water.

"Hey Ori, come swimming with us! I promise we won't dunk you like last time!" Kili smiled in a way that guaranteed he would dunk Ori exactly like the last time.

"No thanks, I don't feel like it," Ori mumbled as he took out a book, not bothering to look up.

"Suit yourself!" The dark haired dwarf called as he ran toward the river. Ori glanced up after Kili had walked away but Fili had been close behind his brother and the two made eye contact. Fili smiled softly and made a slight nod to Ori. The shy dwarf dropped his head quickly and stared at his book until Fili had made it to the water.

The spot he had chosen was close to the river and Ori had a good view of the others as they splashed and played. Bombur floated on the surface like a teabag while Fili, Kili, and Bofur took turns swinging into the water from a low hanging vine. Watching Fili as he laughed, his toned body glistening in the dying sunlight, was a blend of joy and misery, pain and pleasure. Ori loved Fili, wanted to see him happy, but watching him from afar and knowing they would never be together made the ache in his heart all the more worse.

/

When night fell, Ori knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He offered to take Balin's watch shift and the older dwarf readily agreed. Ori was facing away from the fire, staring into the sky when he heard a rustle in the woods. He sat unmoving, and listened. The noise came again and Ori rose to his feet slowly. He considered waking one of the others to help him investigate, but quickly decided against it. He could only imagine the ribbing he'd take from his brothers if he needed help while on watch. So he pulled out his dagger and began walking toward the direction of the noise.

As he drew nearer to the source Ori could hear more than just rustling, there were heavy gasps too and he wondered if someone was injured. He followed the noise to a clearing not far from the camp and finally saw exactly what was creating it. Although it was dark, Ori knew instantly who it was in the clearing. The two heirs of Durin were naked, wrapped in each other's arms, and kissing hungrily. Fili's hands were tangled in the ebony tresses of his brother as Kili clung to his shoulders tightly. It was painfully evident now, who was Fili's One.

Ori's stomach flipped as he watched the dwarf he loved kissing and stroking another. He knew he should turn away, go back to the fire and give them privacy, but Ori was rooted to the spot, and his eyes refused to look away. Was it mere curiosity? Was it a twisted sense of self punishment? He couldn't say. He couldn't think of anything other than the moonlight on Fili's naked skin, the soft moan that escaped his lips as Kili teased his throat with his mouth. Ori's own mouth went dry and he felt terribly guilty but still he did not turn away. He continued to watch as Fili went down to his knees and took his brother's length into his mouth. Kili sighed as he stroked his brother's golden hair, thrusting his hips gently. He came in Fili's mouth with a loud gasp, and the blond prince swallowed, savoring the taste of his brother.

The shy dwarf stared, unblinking, as Fili lay down on the ground and his brother straddled his lap. Fili held his own member as Kili slowly impaled himself upon it, sighing softly as he took it inch by inch. The blond prince held Kili's hips tightly as the younger began to rock back and forth, slowly at first then gradually increasing the pace. Ori could feel his own arousal waking as the two brothers began to move in time, Fili thrusting upward as Kili rolled his hips. Without thinking, Ori slid his hand into his breeches and began to stroke himself.

Both Fili and Kili were soon breathing raggedly and the moonlight made the thin layer of sweat glisten upon their bodies. The dark haired prince leaned forward and kissed his brother deeply. As he pulled away, Fili stroked his face gently, sliding his thumb between the brunette's lips. Kili sucked the digit sensuously, his tongue snaking out to tease his brother further. It was enough to send the blond over the edge, and with a hard upward thrust he emptied himself into his brother, closing his eyes and biting his fist to keep from crying out.

Kili leaned forward and laid his head on Fili's chest, his brother's spent member still inside him. Fili wrapped his arms around him as he whispered, "by Aule, you're perfect, ghivashun." He kissed the top of Kili's head, smiling contentedly.

"I love you so, khidhuzur akhun," Kili panted into Fili's chest, still trying to catch his breath.

"And I you, brother."

Ori realized at once that his erection had wilted _and_ that he had been touching himself. He pulled his hand from his breeches and turned away from the clearing. He made his way back to the campsite and sat down by the fire. A short while later he heard the two brothers coming back to the campsite as well. He did not turn and instead let them believe that they had returned without any notice. He listened as they settled into their bed rolls, whispering softly to each other as lovers often do. He felt numb.

When his watch was over, Ori woke Dori who had next watch. His older brother was very groggy and didn't question him when he left the campsite with an excuse of answering the call of nature. Ori walked back to the clearing in a daze, his feet moved almost of their own volition. He stepped into the clearing and stood there for a moment before sinking to his knees. The tears were hot against the cool night air and his sobs racked his chest as he tried hopelessly to hold them back. Ori covered his mouth with one hand and braced the other against the ground.

He wept for his own blindness. For the emptiness of rejection. For happy princes and lonely scholars. For a love he would never find and The One he would never have. He wept for his wounded heart and the long years ahead to be spent alone.

**Khuzdul:**

**Ghivashun = Treasure**

**Khidhuzur akhun = Golden One**

**Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry for such a sad fic, had to get this one out! The next story will be happy, promise!**


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